In high school I was a cheerleader. One of our chants was, "Determination, Determination, Determination to win!" I don't think I ever really understood what the word determination truly was until now.
Back in November I started making a few life choices for me regarding what I drink. I cut out pop except an occasional one when are at Wendy's or Arby's (which is usually shared with my husband). I started drinking one cup of coffee a day and started drinking between 58-64 oz of water a day.
In December I decided that I really wanted a tread mill. I hate walking with my girls. It is a complete nightmare usually ending with me as sore as possible, since I'm pulling three girls in the wagon, and at least one in tears. January all fitness equipment goes on sale. My husband agreed to let me buy one.
It has been almost 4 weeks since I got it. I don't run every day but my goal is 5 miles a week. Now I am not a runner. Even when I was at my fittest in high school, I got winded going up stairs. I have bad allergies, my lung capacity is smaller than normal, and I have a family history of asthma. For me to run a mile a day is a huge accomplishment.
On Tuesday afternoon I started getting myself ready to run. Shoes on, water bottle filled, Pandora on my phone, girls watching a movie, ear buds in, distance goal set. I knew I wanted to run a mile, what I was hoping was to do it in 11 1/2 minutes. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I had been taking a little time off here and there. I have been recording my time here and there. 11 days ago my time was:
A few days later my time was:
I am proud of myself. I have been pushing myself a little harder each time and hoping to keep getting it down.
Well Tuesday was different for some reason. The only thing I can think of is DETERMINATION. It wasn't just my determination but His. He wanted to see me be pushed and determined and strong.
I started the nice little jog at 5 miles and hour and say some prayers that I'll make it and listen to some uplifting music (usually some Third Day). At .2 miles in, I kicked it up to 6. I thought I would just do this for a bit, but something or rather Someone kept pushing me and saying, "You can do it!". At every tenth of a mile I would switch between 5 and 6. I could catch my breath and then go hard again. At .8 miles I kicked it up to 6. I pushed so hard that last little bit. I had never run the whole mile before and here I was pushing hard to finish strong. As the machine came to a stop at the end of my mile, I took a look at the summary screen and this is what I saw:
I was shocked and tears just started rolling down my face. That time is better than anything I ever did in high school. It may not be track star time, but to me it felt like a winning number. I have never been more determined to take care of myself as I am now. I did something I thought would take me another couple weeks, but probably longer. I never thought I could run an entire mile without walking a bit to catch my breath, but I did.
This morning I was reading in 2 Corinthians and one passage really touched my heart.
But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in his weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest in me. 2 Corinthians 12: 9Reflecting on my treadmill and my running I realized one thing, God has used this weakness of mine to glorify Him. He set a fire, a determination, like I had never experienced in me. I was able to accomplish so much because I allowed Him to use the weakness to make me stronger. God wants us to be weak, not strong. He wants us to need Him, depend on Him. Only then will we allow God to instill a determination in us to overcome our weaknesses.