What Do You Crave More Then God?

Food has been a problem for me. Maybe not in the same way as others, but it is still an issue. I either embrace it or fear it. I saw my mom struggle with food my entire life and I know she has struggled much longer than that. This is where my fear comes in. I can't count calories or I won't eat for fear that I will eat too much. I do however need to watch portions and snacks or I eat way more than I need to without even considering what is entering my body.

In the past year I have learned a lot about God and how my relationship is with him. Money is the first area my husband and I had to work on. We really needed to be more obedient with what he had given us. He trusts us to be responsible with what we were given. It has been a wonderful journey and I now see how obedience needs to be in all areas of my life. 

God gives us so much and we are not being responsible. For me time management is just as much of a struggle, maybe even more then food. I can get lost on the computer for hours very easily or sit down with a book and realize I read much longer then I intended. I have a tendency to think that things can wait until tomorrow and I have time to read one more chapter. 

I have made a household binder to help keep me organized. Some days it works and other days it doesn't. What it really comes down to is am I obeying God with my time or not. My choices affect my kids and my husband, not just me. It's more fun to sit and read my new book then to clean the bathrooms or wash the dishes. The problem is that I am using my time selfishly instead of glorifying God.

When I am at my worst is when my husband, who is a seasonal employee, goes back to work. It's a major change in our family. I go from having help around the house to being the sole caregiver of three little girls five days a week from the time they get up to when they go to bed. Then the weekends are spent with him trying to make up time with us, fix things around the house, or tend to other things that need to be taken care of.

I usually spend about a month dealing with depression. Now I have come to the realization that if I can pray through my food cravings why can't I pray through other cravings as well. Depression can also be considered a craving for me. It is easier to retreat into myself then deal with the issues around me or pray through them. He promises never to leave us, He will guide us through all the valleys.

My prayer life needs to take front and center if I am going to over come these cravings that hold me back from being the daughter of the King He aspires me to be. I have the desire, now I just need to allow God to hold my hand and walk with me through all the valleys.